Podcast Shownotes- Episode 8- Motherhood & Building a business with Anabel Morte-RodenesMay 02, 2022
Good Morning and hello, today on the podcast we have the lovely Anabel Morte-Rodenes, how are you Anabel?
I am well thank you, thank you very much for having me.
You’re very welcome, it’s lovely to see you today and to have you on the podcast to chat with me today. Thank you for joining us. I will start with Anabel, by getting you to introduce yourself to our lovely listeners.
My name is Anabel, I am a mum of two little boys and I've recently retrained as a coach. So I'm a coach and help ladies with their mindset. I am a mindset coach. I help women learn to find ways to accept themselves.
That sounds fantastic. What is it that brought you to business Anabel? Why did you want to start working for yourself?
I think what it was, I just wanted to feel fulfilled when I was at my job. I always felt like that before, but there was always something missing. I didn’t know what was missing at the time. So I had to go through my own personal journey to find that out.
I realised it was that connection with people, that side of my job that I was enjoying the most. Helping and connecting with people.
That’s really good, so you found that there was a gap in your role that you were working in, and you’ve been able to process that and build a business around what you needed and also what you love providing to people.
Yes, that in conjunction with becoming a mum. How in my own struggles after that, finding myself, my self-worth and identity. My world was upside down. I took that opportunity to focus on myself and find out what it was I wanted to do, for the rest of my life.
That is so important, I think that is why so many mum- particularly, come to business after motherhood because there is that shift in priorities. Certainly with being able to manage a career on the same level as you did before, with childcare, financial barriers. All that kind of stuff. There is also that shift in persp
Welcome to the MUBO podcast. A podcast for busy parents juggling busy lives, and building a brilliant business. In today’s episode 8 of the podcast we’re changing things up and I'm going to be interviewing my friend- Anabel Morte-Rodenes, about coaching, parenting and building a business around your kids. Let’s dive into the episode.ective in who you are, and what you want to do going forward. I know that’s something I really found after I had Fred, I can clearly remember one of the things- when Fred was less than one. I was self employed anyway, I thought now more than ever, I don't want to spend my time chasing something that was not what I wholeheartedly wanted to do. That's the message I want Fred to have when he's older, Whatever you want to do just go for it! Make yourself happy first more than anything else! I suddenly felt, after I had him, that unless I wasn't doing that myself and following my own advice I wasn’t guiding him properly. It was a real driver for me, to find and establish something that meant I was always doing something I loved. I have been self-employed since my early 20’s, but it wasn't something that I really loved, I had a secure role that kept getting replenished and I got paid really well, but it wasn’t really what I was passionate about. After I had him, and I stepped into that motherhood phase, feeling joy and passion for my work was suddenly more important than it had ever been before.
What sort of career were you in before you set up on your own?
My background is science, I was a scientist. I worked as a lab manager in a research lab. Very high profile research, very important because it was related to climate change. It was great, there were a lot of good things. There was, though, this side of me where I felt I was ‘a round peg in a square hole’, I was not quite fitting in. My skill set and what I was doing was not a 100% match. That was giving me moments where I would be ok, then I would feel there was something missing.
After having kids I just wanted to spend my time doing something that fulfils me fully.
And you found that thing in coaching? In helping women. So when you’re working with women, what are some of the comment themes you find in your clients that most women are coming up against?
So this is interesting, so it’s symptoms. Symptoms like stress, overwhelm, and lack of time is a big one- but it's usually deeper than that, so we will explore.
Why do you feel you don’t have the time? Maybe it's about, lack of boundaries. Maybe it's about, lack of knowing what your priorities are. Maybe, you don't know what you need to achieve and why that is important to you. So the different things, why someone may feel stressed or overwhelmed, or they don’t have time. It’s all very related to self worth, how we feel about ourselves, how we look after ourselves, how much we accept ourselves.
Those are all really common themes for us at MUBO, that there is a huge self worth shift when you have children. Your priorities change, and for a lot of women- certainly for me, I kind of lost my self worth in doing for others. Before I was a mum, a lot of my self worth markers came from work and what I did. Then, when I didn’t have that anymore, the cup got really low, so I developed a lot of habits- which I probably shouldn't explain on a podcast, but I will.
I was very codependent on my partner. I had zero boundaries, zero self care. I couldn’t take any time for myself. I could see the value in taking time for work, because there was a financial outcome, there was something a bit more tangible and I could see whether it was working or not. But the thought of taking time out for myself, I just couldn't get my head around it for quite a few years. So for those first few years, I was in huge amounts of overwhelm, massive bouts of low self worth, really poor time management where I couldn't allocate anything to myself because the overwhelm meant it all just felt too much. Managing the house, thinking of doing something for myself, getting Fred to wherever he needed to go. I kind of became a martyr to it all, “i’ve got to do everything, everything is on me, i'm never going to be able to build something for myself because I have to do everything for everybody else first” I used it as an excuse for a long time.
Everyone needs me, if I don’t do it who is? I can definitely relate to that. I also think, when you become a mum, when they’re babies- especially the first one, it’s very striking how your identity shifts completely. We usually attach it to what we do. “ I cannot be a scientist now, because I'm changing nappies” . What is this telling me about my worth? Friends and family all want to know “how is the little one” and suddenly, I didn't exist anymore! I have disappeared! That was quite a shock, I was glad everyone was interested to know how my child was doing, and I want my child to do well, but I am also here!! Suddenly my needs are not important, because you’re all about the baby- for obvious reasons, they need you to survive. But once they started growing a bit, it’s that shift in starting to look after yourself again that I found very hard. You get into the, “I have to do all of this” and you forget about yourself.
How did you start to prioritise your own self care? How do you work with clients on that point when you’re in the midst of being busy, overwhelmed and lack identity about what your next step is going to be?
- Walking- getting out in the fresh air, clearing your mind! It is such an important form of selfcare!
- We all have the same amount of time each day, it's what we choose to do with it that counts. Does it all need to be done today? Or can some be done tomorrow?
- How are you feeling?- if you’re not feeling good then your work won't be good.
- Good enough is good enough! It DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!
A coach advises that you have to give yourself 30 minutes of time to yourself everyday, otherwise the boat will sink.
It’s not being selfish with your time, it's vital!
Anabel has a Facebook group with loads more hints and tips, go and join it on www.facebook.com/TheBusyLifeStrategyClubwithAnabel
Thanks for listening!
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